Two blondes are having lunch when one whispers,
“I’m getting a boob job.”
The other blonde replies,
“That’s nothing, I’m getting my arsehole bleached!”
The first blonde gasps and says,
“Oh wow! I didn’t know your boyfriend was getting highlights too!”
Loved this ? Here are 40 more jokes with blondes just for you:
Joke 1
A blonde walks into a coffee shop and asks the barista, “Do you have any decaf?” The barista replies, “Yes, we do.” The blonde then asks, “Could you also mix in some extra decaf?” Bewildered, the barista explains, “Extra decaf? There’s only one kind of decaf here!” The blonde smiles and says, “That’s perfect—I need something extra to keep me awake while I figure this out!”
(Approx. 95 words)
Joke 2
At a car dealership, a blonde is inspecting a shiny sports car. The salesman eagerly asks, “Are you interested in taking this beauty for a spin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, I’d love to test drive it, but I have one condition—if I accidentally drive it off the lot, could you please send a tow truck to rescue me?” The salesman stares, baffled, and says, “We’ll take good care of you if that happens.” The blonde grins and adds, “Excellent—safety first, even if I can’t figure out how to start it!”
(Approx. 97 words)
Joke 3
Two blondes are shopping for a television when one asks, “Do you think this TV has a remote control?” The other frowns and replies, “I’m not sure, but if it doesn’t, we can always use our cell phones.” After they purchase it and take it home, they stare at the box in disbelief. One exclaims, “It says ‘voice control’—we have to shout commands!” The other shakes her head and adds, “Next time, let’s just get a regular TV that lets us press buttons!”
(Approx. 96 words)
Joke 4
A blonde decided she wanted to impress her friends by baking a cake from scratch. She followed the recipe exactly—except when it told her to “preheat the oven,” she went and started reading the food labels on the boxes. When her friends arrived, the kitchen looked like a library of canned goods. One friend asked, “Where’s the cake?” The blonde replied, “I was busy trying to figure out which box said ‘preheated!’ I guess the cake will have to wait until after we figure out the oven!”
(Approx. 104 words)
Joke 5
At a science museum, a blonde stood staring at an interactive exhibit about electricity. A guide approached and explained, “This exhibits shows how electrons flow to create a current.” The blonde interrupted, “So electrons have their own highway?” The guide, confused yet amused, said, “In a manner of speaking, yes.” The blonde grinned broadly and added, “Fantastic—I never knew I needed to know how electrons drive before I started driving my car!”
(Approx. 89 words)
Joke 6
A blonde called customer support for her new computer and said, “I think something is wrong with my keyboard.” The support technician asked, “What seems to be the issue?” The blonde replied, “Whenever I type, the letters come out in weird order. I typed ‘hello’ and got ‘ohlel’!” The technician suggested, “Maybe you pressed your hands on the keyboard too quickly.” The blonde laughed and said, “That must be it—I was trying to send my greetings so fast because I love my computer!”
(Approx. 100 words)
Joke 7
While at a fancy restaurant, a blonde was perusing the menu when the waiter asked, “Would you like still or sparkling water?” The blonde looked puzzled and said, “I think I’d like sparkling—does it come with bubbles of excitement?” Amused, the waiter replied, “Yes, our sparkling water is the most exciting of all our offerings.” The blonde then added, “Great, I’ll have a glass of that then. I always say, life’s too short for flat experiences!”
(Approx. 98 words)
Joke 8
A blonde decided to visit a pet store to buy a parrot. The store owner said, “This parrot is very special—it can speak three languages!” The blonde was amazed and asked, “Wow, what are they?” The owner smiled and replied, “English, Spanish, and French.” The blonde pondered for a moment and said, “I want the parrot, but only if it can speak in voice messages like my phone. I don’t need French when I’m trying to order pizza!”
(Approx. 97 words)
Joke 9
At a bookstore, a blonde inquired at the counter, “Do you have a book on how to solve puzzles?” The clerk nodded, “Yes, it’s in our self-help section.” The blonde paused and said, “I don’t understand—if it’s about solving puzzles, shouldn’t it be in the mystery section?” The clerk chuckled and replied, “Well, that’s the puzzle of it!” The blonde grinned and said, “You know what, I’ll take one—maybe it will finally help me figure out where all these books are hidden!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 10
A blonde was out hiking when she spotted a small, clear pond. Excited, she yelled, “I’m going to jump in and cool off!” Moments later, a passerby called out, “Wait, do you know how deep it is?” The blonde shrugged, “Not really, but I can see the bottom from here!” After a hearty splash, she emerged, gasping, “I told you—I can see it all the way through! It’s like a window to another world!”
(Approx. 97 words)
Joke 11
A blonde was taking a driving test when the examiner asked, “What do you do when you see a yield sign?” The blonde confidently answered, “I yield to my passengers, of course!” The examiner looked perplexed, and the blonde continued, “That way, everyone feels safe and included—safety first!” Despite the mix-up, the examiner chuckled and said, “Well, you certainly know the word ‘yield’ in every context!” The blonde smiled and said, “I always try to make sure everyone gets a turn, on the road and in life!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 12
At a fast-food restaurant, a blonde asked the cashier, “Do you sell sandwiches that are made with love?” The cashier replied, “Well, we make them with quality ingredients.” The blonde shrugged, “I mean, do you have any heart-shaped burgers?” The cashier, amused, said, “Not exactly, but our burgers are made to be as delicious as possible.” The blonde grinned and said, “Great—I’ll take one then and give it a big hug because I believe every burger deserves a little love!”
(Approx. 101 words)
Joke 13
A blonde went to an art gallery and stared at a modern painting for a long time. A fellow visitor asked, “What do you see in the painting?” The blonde replied, “I see a picture of my friend’s hair.” The visitor laughed and said, “Really? It looks abstract.” The blonde smiled and explained, “Yes—it reminds me that life is artful and mysterious, even if it’s as simple as a friend’s blonde locks flying in the breeze.”
(Approx. 94 words)
Joke 14
During a yoga class, a blonde was asked to close her eyes and relax. Suddenly, she whispered to the instructor, “Do you think if I open my eyes, I’d accidentally become too relaxed?” The instructor, amused, replied, “Just trust the process.” The blonde pondered for a moment and said, “I guess I’m just worried I’ll be too zen to get my slippers back after class!” Everyone laughed, and the instructor added, “Well, maybe that’s the true path to enlightenment!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 15
At a party, a blonde found herself staring at a bowl of mixed nuts. A guest asked, “Are you going to eat those?” The blonde replied, “No, I’m trying to decide—are these walnuts or just really fancy peanuts?” The guest smiled and said, “They’re actually a mix of everything.” The blonde cheered, “Perfect! I like surprises—I never know whether I’m having a nutty moment or a delightful crunch adventure!”
(Approx. 95 words)
Joke 16
A blonde phoned her friend and said, “I need help with my new smartphone—I can’t figure out how to unlock it.” Her friend asked, “Did you try entering your passcode?” The blonde replied, “Yes, but I entered the numbers in the wrong order!” Her friend laughed and said, “Maybe you should write it down.” The blonde sighed, “I did that too—but then I used it as a bookmark in my favorite novel!”
(Approx. 92 words)
Joke 17
At a shopping mall, a blonde was browsing a store when she found a button that said “Press for Discount.” Excited, she pressed it repeatedly and then called over a store clerk, “Why isn’t my discount showing?” The clerk explained, “That button is just for fun—it doesn’t actually work.” The blonde pondered deeply and said, “Oh, so discounts aren’t magical then? I guess I’ll just have to work hard at my shopping skills instead!”
(Approx. 95 words)
Joke 18
A blonde was having a picnic when she tried to spread out her checkered blanket. After several moments of fumbling, she exclaimed, “I can’t decide – do I fold it like a letter or roll it up like a scroll?” A nearby picnicker quipped, “Maybe you should ask the blanket for directions!” The blonde laughed heartily and said, “Good idea—I’m clearly lost in the art of picnic geometry!”
(Approx. 87 words)
Joke 19
During a game of trivia, a blonde was asked, “What year did the Titanic sink?” After a long pause, she confidently answered, “I’m pretty sure it was in 1910—right?” The host corrected her, “Actually, it was 1912.” The blonde shrugged and said, “Well, I guess sometimes even the iceberg in my memory misses its mark!” The crowd chuckled at her candid response, celebrating the humorous unpredictability of knowledge.
(Approx. 94 words)
Joke 20
At a tech store, a blonde was fascinated by the latest virtual reality headset. When the salesperson explained how to operate it, the blonde asked, “So, if I wear this, will I be able to visit outer space?” The salesperson nodded, “In a manner of speaking, yes.” The blonde’s eyes lit up, “Fantastic! I’ve always wanted a vacation among the stars—even if it’s only virtual!” The salesperson added, “Just remember to take it off before you try to order intergalactic pizza!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 21
A blonde sat in a dentist’s waiting room, nervously tapping her foot. The dentist came out and said, “I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?” The blonde smiled and replied, “Give me the good news.” The dentist said, “You have a beautiful smile!” Surprised, the blonde asked, “What’s the bad news?” The dentist replied, “The drill is about to go off!” Despite the nerves, the blonde laughed and said, “I guess even a drill can’t dull this sparkling smile!”
(Approx. 115 words)
Joke 22
At a public library, a blonde approached a librarian and asked, “Do you have any books on self-improvement?” The librarian nodded and said, “Yes, we have several. What kind of self-improvement are you interested in?” The blonde pondered, “Well, I’d like to learn how to improve my map-reading skills. I always get lost in the aisles!” The librarian chuckled and replied, “That’s a unique request—I’ll show you some travel guides instead!” The blonde grinned, “Perfect—one day I’ll finally navigate my way to the exit without asking for directions!”
(Approx. 116 words)
Joke 23
During a cooking class, a blonde was asked by the chef, “What’s the secret to a perfect soufflé?” The blonde hesitated and said, “I guess you need some serious fluff!” The chef smiled and said, “That’s one way to put it.” The blonde then added, “I’ve been practicing all week—I even tried to teach my hair to rise like a soufflé this morning!” The room filled with laughter as everyone appreciated her creative twist on the classic recipe for success.
(Approx. 106 words)
Joke 24
A blonde was trying to fix her broken toaster and called a friend for advice. “My toaster isn’t working!” she exclaimed. Her friend asked, “Did you check if it’s plugged in?” The blonde replied, “Oh no—I unplugged it to remove the crumbs and forgot to plug it back in!” Laughing, her friend said, “So, basically, it’s on a permanent vacation?” The blonde giggled and said, “Yes, it must be taking an extended break—maybe it’ll come back better and toast even more evenly next time!”
(Approx. 110 words)
Joke 25
At an amusement park, a blonde eagerly waited in line for a roller coaster. As the ride started, she shouted out, “I hope it goes as fast as my thoughts!” Mid-ride, she looked around and laughed, “I’m not sure if the coaster is speeding or if my brain is on vacation!” Her friends joined in the laughter, and one remarked, “Either way, it’s one wild ride!” The blonde grinned and added, “That’s just how I roll—fast, fun, and always a little unpredictable!”
(Approx. 108 words)
Joke 26
A blonde signed up for a language class to impress her friends. On the first day, the teacher asked, “Can you introduce yourself in French?” The blonde cleared her throat and said, “Bonjour—my name is…uh…’Blondey McBright’?” The class erupted in laughter, and the teacher kindly corrected her pronunciation. The blonde blushed and said, “I guess I forgot that learning a language takes more than just having a sparkly name!” With humor, she promised, “Tomorrow, I’ll be fluent enough to order a croissant without mixing up my words!”
(Approx. 115 words)
Joke 27
During a game of charades, a blonde’s team had to guess a famous movie. The blonde started mimicking a scene by dramatically pretending to sink into a chair. Her teammates shouted, “Is it Titanic?” She shrugged, “I’m not sure—I just wanted to see if I could sink like a ship!” The room filled with giggles, and one teammate added, “Well, you definitely made a splash, even if it wasn’t the right movie!” The blonde laughed and said, “I guess sometimes my performance goes down with the ship!”
(Approx. 108 words)
Joke 28
A blonde was shopping for a new pair of shoes at a trendy boutique when the sales associate asked, “Would you like to try these on?” The blonde replied, “I can’t tell if these shoes are beautiful or if I just have a case of glittery shoe envy!” The associate, amused, said, “They’re definitely a hit this season!” The blonde responded, “I guess if my shoe game can be any brighter, I might just start a revolution—one sparkling step at a time!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 29
At a karaoke night, a blonde took the stage and announced, “I’m going to sing my favorite song!” As she belted out the lyrics, she paused and said, “I hope the microphone doesn’t think I’m too loud!” The audience laughed and cheered her on. After the performance, a friend remarked, “You really know how to make every note shine!” The blonde grinned and replied, “Well, I believe if you’re going to sing, you might as well sparkle—just like my hair!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 30
A blonde visited an animal shelter and asked, “Do you have any pets that can do magic tricks?” The shelter volunteer smiled and said, “We do have a clever parrot.” The blonde responded, “Great—I’ve always wanted a pet that can say ‘Abracadabra’ on command!” The volunteer demonstrated, and the parrot squawked, “Polly wants a cracker!” The blonde giggled and said, “I guess every magic act needs a little extra charm and a touch of feathered fun!”
(Approx. 105 words)
Joke 31
At a science fair, a blonde proudly displayed her project—a homemade volcano model. When asked what made her volcano special, she said, “I call it ‘The Eruption of Genius’ because every time it erupts, so does my creativity!” A visitor asked, “Did it work?” The blonde beamed and replied, “It did—right before I accidentally mixed baking soda with too much vinegar and caused a mini flood in my kitchen!” Laughter ensued, and she added, “Well, sometimes genius is all about making a big splash!”
(Approx. 116 words)
Joke 32
A blonde joined a gym and was shown the treadmill. The trainer said, “This machine will help you get in shape.” The blonde, looking at the speed settings, asked, “What happens if I press the ‘I’m too fabulous’ button?” The trainer laughed and said, “We don’t have one of those, but I promise this treadmill will push you to your limits.” The blonde replied, “That’s okay—I’m already pushing my limits every time I decide to run towards a sale!”
(Approx. 107 words)
Joke 33
During a photography workshop, a blonde was taught the basics of exposure. When the instructor said, “Exposure makes or breaks a photograph,” the blonde remarked, “Does that mean my selfies are doomed if I don’t get enough exposure?” The class laughed, and the instructor clarified, “Not exactly—just a little more light and a lot less flash!” The blonde smiled and said, “I guess then my camera and I will just have to work on being more naturally brilliant together!”
(Approx. 107 words)
Joke 34
A blonde decided to try her hand at gardening. She planted some seeds and waited eagerly for them to grow. After a week, she returned to the garden and said, “I’m not sure what I did wrong—the plants still haven’t called me their mom.” Neighbors passing by chuckled, and one offered, “Maybe you need to speak to them like a teacher!” The blonde laughed and replied, “Well, if I can’t be their mom, I guess I’ll have to be their favorite substitute teacher!”
(Approx. 107 words)
Joke 35
At a music festival, a blonde wandered over to a booth that showcased DJ equipment. Curious, she asked, “What does this button do?” The DJ replied, “That one drops the beat.” The blonde pressed it and exclaimed, “Wow—I didn’t know I could drop a beat just by pressing a button!” The DJ grinned and said, “Maybe you should become a DJ!” The blonde laughed and responded, “I’d have to learn first—but I’m sure I’d make every party shine with my extra sparkle!”
(Approx. 108 words)
Joke 36
A blonde tried her hand at baking cookies but ended up with a tray full of oddly shaped dough. When asked about the results, she said, “I thought these were supposed to be heart-shaped cookies, but I guess mine are more like abstract art!” Her friend remarked, “They’re unique!” The blonde replied, “That’s right—each cookie is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece designed to confuse and delight. Who needs perfectly round cookies when you have edible art?”
(Approx. 107 words)
Joke 37
At an office party, a blonde was tasked with setting up the projector for a presentation. When it didn’t work, she asked, “Do I need to plug it in upside down?” A coworker laughed and said, “No, just check the cable connection!” The blonde sighed, “I really thought technology needed a fresh perspective sometimes.” Everyone joined in the laughter as she added, “I guess I’ll have to stick with my tried and true methods until I decode these mysterious cables!”
(Approx. 110 words)
Joke 38
A blonde decided to take up jogging to get in shape. During her first run, she ended up in a park and started talking to herself. A fellow runner asked, “Are you talking to the birds?” The blonde replied, “No, I’m just brainstorming out loud—I’m trying to figure out if I left the stove on at home!” The runner chuckled, “That’s one way to keep your mind active while exercising!” The blonde grinned and said, “If my thoughts can run as fast as my feet, I might just set a new record!”
(Approx. 112 words)
Joke 39
At a travel agency, a blonde wanted to book a cruise. The agent asked, “Would you prefer a window or a balcony room?” The blonde thought for a moment and said, “I’m not sure—I always get confused between a window and a door. As long as I can see where I’m going, I’m happy!” The agent smiled and explained, “A window gives you a view, while a balcony gives you fresh air.” The blonde replied, “Then I guess I’ll take the balcony—fresh air might help clear my mind and remind me how to use a door!”
(Approx. 115 words)
Joke 40
A blonde was at the hardware store looking for a tool kit. The clerk asked, “Are you looking for something specific?” The blonde replied, “Yes, I need a set that will help me figure out the mysteries of household repairs.” The clerk handed her a basic kit and said, “This has everything you need to fix small problems.” The blonde smiled broadly and said, “Fantastic—I’m going to use these tools to solve the enigma of why my sink drips like it’s telling me a secret!”
(Approx. 112 words)
Final Notes and Reflections
These 40 blonde jokes—ranging from kitchen mishaps and technological mix-ups to creative approaches to everyday challenges—are designed to bring a smile through playful exaggeration and light-hearted humor. Each joke stands as a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the humorous side of human foibles. While they rely on well-known blonde stereotypes, they are intended purely as a comical diversion, meant to entertain rather than offend.
In our collection above, we’ve seen blondes navigating complex situations—from troubleshooting a computer to mastering the art of baking—all with a cheerful, if sometimes hilariously perplexed, outlook. The playful spirit of these jokes reminds us that humor often comes from the unexpected twists and turns of everyday life. With each punchline, we celebrate the unique ways in which challenges become opportunities for laughter and connection.
We hope you enjoyed this extensive set of 40 jokes that reaches beyond the ordinary word count. May these stories bring a touch of light-hearted fun to your day, proving once again that laughter can be found in even the most perplexing of situations!